I've been doing a whole lot of thinking lately. Why do things have to change when we grow up? Why do things get so damn complicated? I miss being a child, I really do. I wish that I could back to being really excited about going to carnivals, and feeling like I was on top of the world when I went on rollercoasters for the first time. I miss having the only thing that really ever got me angry was when I would have to come inside from playing outside because it was about to get dark. The only things I really had to worry about was occasional math homework which was no big deal because it was only multiplication, division, subtraction, and addition. The older I got, the more difficult it became. I had to worry about hormonal guys coming on to me alot, and telling them " I'm not ready yet" Then have them walk out of my life becuase I wouldn't have sex with them.
The past couple of months I've been caught up in dating really bad. It's been all about having a boyfriend or girlfriend. I've been lied to terribley, cheated on, and used as a "filler". So It's done I'm done. No more pain for this lady right here. I'm slowing things down in the dating world. I need to find myself, and figure out what I want. I mean, I have somewhat of an Idea about what I want, what I look for ect... But I just need to figure out what I really want, then stick to that. I won't lower my standards for anybody, if they don't measure up to my standards, then that's their problem...not mine. I will no longer allow people to walk all over me like I normally do. It will take a lot for me to trust people and to love them. You must earn my trust and love, I won't be giving it out so freely anymore. I used to wear my heart on my sleeve.. but i'm trusting it with this guy named izzey